Monday, February 5, 2018

Healing Session: Forgiveness

Hello dear ones!

As most of you, I too have been on a journey of self rediscovery and healing.  And today I would like to touch on the topic of forgiveness, an important part of healing that holds us back.

When we think of forgiveness, we tend to think that forgiving is condoning the hurt, pain and hardship done unto us, and we fail to realize that forgiveness is nothing like that.  This holds us back from healing our emotions, our mind and soul, and ultimately our physical body.  Remember, that negative thoughts and actions will eventually affect the physical body, you can feel an acute episode of that when you get stressed out for the day, it literally gets your body out of rhythm.  In my experience not forgiving is thinking you are punishing the other person, but really you are punishing yourself, and it took me years to come to that realization.

Forgiveness is not for the forgiven, it is for you.  

Forgiveness does not mean you approve of the behavior, it does not mean you allow it to continue and it does not mean you are taking the blame.  What it means is that you are releasing the negative string that tied you to that person and you are releasing the negative energy that was no doubt holding you back.  Remember, while you are hurt and upset at the person day in and day out, they most likely aren't even thinking about you, but you give them such power over you.  So forgiveness is taking your power back and keeping yourself whole.  Why allow negativity to fill your heart when all it does is steal your joy and peace?  Not forgiving is holding on to the toxic energy that doesn't affect the other person, but it affects you.

Photo by Silvestri Matteo on Unsplash

Forgiveness does not mean we have to hang out right after.  Forgiveness is a process, and I am not saying it's easy, but if you want yourself back you will have to lift off the burden that is weighing you down.  Depending on the situation, it could take a while to process and forgive, and you want to make sure you have yourself ready for if and when you decide to let the person back into your space.  At times, having that person back in your space too early can bring on your past triggers and stifle your forgiving and healing process, so make sure you are truly ready.  Some situations are just very painful, but without forgiveness real healing, whether physical or emotional, cannot take place.

Forgiving is loving yourself.

Often, the one person we forget to forgive is ourselves.  We are harder on ourselves than others and hold ourselves to an unrealistic standard.  We make mistakes, but who doesn't?  Learn to let go and be willing to see things differently.  Forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes and do better next time.  Don't be so hard on yourself, this is a tough one for me too, but realize it's okay to let things go.  You will be presented with opportunities to do better and be kinder, choose love over self punishment, it will serve you better.

All my love,

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